growth without effort My Hulk-daddy is Paying : Chapter Eleven

[Hialmar]

The Prelude may be found HERE

The preceding chapter may be found HERE

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My Hulk-daddy is Paying

Chapter Eleven

 

"I'm so sorry. Feel so embarrassed. Didn't want to wake you up, but the bad memories returned, and ..."

The imposing titan shivered in the grande sofa, tears ran silently down his seemingly youthful cheeks, and his facial expression was alarmingly full of guilt. Rob, sitting in the corner of the grande sofa, wearing a night gown, silently patted him on his back comfortingly.

"I don't understand. I thought, I would be so masculine and confident now, and not cry like a baby. So embarrassing. Crying in front of you, of all people."

"It doesn't work that way, Max.", Rob said in a low voice.

"Don't call me Max. My old name hurts. 'Brad' hurts, too. I don't know who I am."

He fell silent.

"Thanks for your patience. Both you and Nate. For having me here. For you patience."

Only a low energy diode was lit, in order to save energy, but moonlight fell in through the three-pane window and formed a square on the floor. Max continued:

"Thought I would be invulnerable now. Like you. Like Nate."

"I'm not invulnerable, big buddy. Sometimes, I imagine, that Nate is invulnerable, but I know, that he isn't. Muscles aren't like an armour against emotions. 'Hancing isn't about fleeing something, or it shouldn't be. If you had applied to 'hancing at Megagrowth, we hadn't allowed you to 'hance without spending time in councelling or some other therapy first. After a few tests, which backfired in the early days, we vet the unsuitable cases, and we send the immature ones to shrinks. Our infamous Texan, Siberian and Middle Eastern competitors don't, and the gigantic nutcases they let out give 'hancing a bad reputation. You are supposed to have emotions. They makes you human. You are also supposed to be an adult, who know how to control your emotions – not deny their existence: that's the road to mental unhealth – but control them. Not act in affect."

Rob patted their long-term guest on his back again. What's wrong with Korsakoff? Turning a 30 year old into a Hulk with a 19 year old face, a 19 year old mind and a lot of harmful mind-implants?

"Was the one who wanted it so much even me? I don't remember much before Bob and Vitaly gave me my first 'hancing. After that, all I wanted was GROWTH. Extreme growth. The most extreme growth in the world."

"It was an efficient way to silence you anyway. Do you remember anything about your lost reportage?"

"Nothing. It's a black hole up there. I don't feel like that Maximilian Brzęczyszczykiewicz, I'm supposed to be, but on the other hand, it feels like 'Brad Maxxx' is a lie built by Bob and Vitaly." He shivered again and was silent for some moments, until he spoke again:

"Does it make me a bad person, that I liked it? That I was so eager to be that "big st00pid jockboi"?

"I think that that answer your former question. Was the one who wanted it so much even you? Yes, I believe it was, at least to some extent. The night you spent with Nate and me at HanceCon let all the clues out: You said, that you were just a baseline 'hancerFan, but your voice and behaviour hinted at a suppressed wish to 'hance yourself."

"Pity I don't remember that night. Sounds like something worth to remember."

He reached a hand out to caress Rob's cheek, but Rob clenched his wrist and stopped it.

"While you are recovering from your shock and trauma, it would be unprofessional of me or Nate to engage in any entanglement with you, even for some casual sex. You are not yourself at the moment. Let's wait and see what happens if or when you recover. We are here to help you, not take advantage of you when you are vulnerable."

"I don't like to feel vulnerable."

"It's a part of the human condition. It's a part of growing up to realise it and admit it."

"But vulnerability isn't masculine."

"Is it masculine to show an empty facade to the world, shut your intellect off and shut your emotions off? I've seen a few men walk down that road, and it led either to alcoholism,  to very severe mid-life crises, or both. Do you admire physical strength? So do I. So do Nate. We wouldn't be involved in all this if we didn't, but exercise and 'hancing, feeling all those positive effects of physical exercise and the increase of well-being and confidence, they are not supposed to be an escape from the rest of human life. Muscles aren't an armour. I know, that you are a Bad Boy. I have no idea if that's your own idea, or if it is your former Hulk-daddy's mind-implants talking, and I admit, that the style looks hot, but the entire sub-culture's lack of responsibility isn't masculine in my book. Putting partying and mindless street violence over taking responsibility isn't masculinity in my eyes: It's prolonged teenage life. I know, that a few Bad Boys are involved in improvement of their neighbourhoods. They are the real men. Other Bad Boys flee responsibility, repeating that old tiresome slogan  ''Party like it's no tomorrow, because we're doomed'. They are not real men. Your neighbourhood need what you can do. Your municipality need you to be a responsible citizen. I don't want to spoil fun. God knows that the last thing I am, is a puritan. Fun is a part of life, but it's not the only part of life, and real men are able to balance different aspects of life. During your weeks with me and Nate you must have heard me rattle off my mantra: 'Family. Work. Neighbourhood. Citizenship. Fun.' ... Sorry, didn't mean to rant again."

"It doesn't matter. I enjoy listening. You begin to make sense, but I will need some time to get my things in order. Sorry for waking you up. Sorry for being such a crybaby."

"Don't apologise. You've been through a lot. If you hadn't signed that non-disclosure document, we might have had a chance to sue that 'hancing company and your Hulk-daddy, but that's a lost opportunity now. I and Nate will do what we can to encourage your recovery. There are grants and stipends for less affluent men harmed by indiscriminate 'hancing. We are here for you, but you must be willing to do your part of your recovery."

"You know, that I am. Thanks. Sleep well."

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Next chapter may be found HERE

 

Edited March 29, 2021 by Hialmar
added link, continuity, language