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Survivors 2-I


aurelius

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Survivors2-I: 1-5

 

 

1

I could hear rain falling through the leaves above our house and onto the roof.  Abari’s big arm was resting on my arm; it reminded me of my dad’s arm; it was just as big, if not bigger, and just as reassuring.  Then the rain got harder and I heard thunder—and then loud thunder, as if right above our house.  “Jabar?”  Abari called to me, as if I were far away.  I turned my head and said. “I’m here, my love. It’s only a storm.”  He hugged me and quieted, his breath becoming regular again.

 

It was impossible not to remember how much smaller he once was, how terrified of thunder, how I used to hug him to me and whisper that it was only a storm.  Now he was big—almost as big as his dad, Amare.  He was definitely bigger than I was: both in height and muscle.  But when he called for me in the middle of a storm, he was still my little brother, still the pretty little Nubian boy that I put in a boat and let down from the side of an Egyptian ship and brought to this island of muscle men.

 

I drifted in and out of sleep as the rain poured down.  I wanted to be awake if another thunderclap scared Abari; I still wanted to be his protector, even though any person looking the two of us could assume that he was my protector.

 

When we first moved into our house, we stripped and went to bed.  Abari wanted to see if his cock was as big as mine.  We measured with hands, but he wanted to get our cocks as close together as possible.  It took some effort on my part, putting my legs over his hips and scooting our hard cocks toward each other.  But I’m not sure Abari even noticed that our cocks are the same size.   As soon as our cocks touched each other, he pushed me off him, turned me back over and took my cock in his mouth.  I said, “You know, I could suck your cock at the same time.”  He raised his head and said, “No!  I have to suck yours first.  I have to give you pleasure, for all the times you have cared for me, protected me—I love you so much, Jabar!”  And he kissed me and then went back to sucking my cock.  

 

When he was finished, I didn’t immediately start sucking his cock.  Instead, I lay beside him and caressed his body, placing my hand on his big shoulders and moving my hand down over the muscles in his arm, and then placing my hand on his big chest and moving my hand down to his abs.  “Stop it!  That tickles,” he said.  I said, “You’re beautiful; I’m just loving your body.”  Meanwhile, his cock was hard and straining—I may have been worshipping his body, but I was also torturing his cock,  “Please suck my cock, now!”  His voice was plaintive; I had to relieve him.  It didn’t take him long to cum.  I drank his cum as he had drunk mine.  And then we had time to cuddle.

 

Tonight, at the end of our day, I will put my arm over Abari’s big arm as we settle down to sleep.  I love this about our life: how we both love to feel each other’s arm over us; how doing this reminds us of our dads and how much we love them.  In such small things we live.

 

The storm passed.  I slept.  As the morning light crept into our house, we stirred; then I turned around and kissed my love—and I thought it would be nice to go back to sleep like this, our lips touching, our arms wrapped around each other.  But my love gets hungry for water every morning, and I know that I have to get up and pour the morning water.  Besides, our ankhs made a small noise as they touched and Abari’s eyes opened.  He kissed me lightly and we broke our embrace.  I kissed him back, got up and went over to our table.  I almost always pour the morning water.  I want to take care of my love—and he wants me to still be his big brother.

 

We both have ankhs, gifts from our older brother Zuberi.  Since I am Egyptian and Abari is Nubian, it makes sense to me.  But Zuberi at first thought that he would make ankhs for the sons of Amare and thunderbolts for the sons of Gareth.   When Zuberi brought his gifts to our fathers’ house and started distributing them, he had three ankhs and three thunderbolts.  But Garin, a son of Amare, was from Gareth’s northern tribe, and he wanted a thunderbolt.  And I, one of Gareth’s sons, wanted an ankh.  So we traded.  Lateef, also a Nubian, could have wanted an ankh, but he kept his thunderbolt: “My dad changed me, and I’m fast, so I’ll keep the thunderbolt.”  Our dad smiled—and his smile showed once again that he was very beautiful.

 

In short, the sons of Amare and Gareth are happy.  We mainly stay with each other.  Most of us don’t think the Egyptians will attack again any time soon, so Zuberi can make jewelry at the smithy instead of arrowheads.  However, Xander still hammers out swords and spear heads.  He said, “The Egyptians will try again.  They’ve seen how strong we are; they want us to be their slaves.  So I’ll keep making swords and spears.”

 

I agreed with my older brother; most of our brothers didn’t.  Zuberi wanted to make anything other than arrowheads.  Garin—so disappointed that he only got to kill one Egyptian soldier—figured that we had beaten the Egyptians once, so we could do it again.  He even said, “We have a secret weapon: Jabar’s big brain.”  Then, turning to me he said, “You’ll figure something out!”   Abari agreed with Garin—something that seems to happen more and more frequently, since Abari loves wrestling with Garin, Xander and Zuberi in their wrestling club.  Lateef and I and our fathers love to watch our more muscular brothers.  Lateef cheers for Garin; I cheer for Abari, but no one is very serious about it.  Both Lateef and I simply like to watch all those muscles straining against each other.

 

I thought that my closest brother, Lateef, would agree with me and Xander, but he didn’t:  “We should enjoy the freedom we have, Jabar.  We shouldn’t always be thinking about the next attack.  You can go and plot strategy with Xander.  But when you come back, you and I can go swimming or running, and enjoy our life on this island.”

 

Enjoying life on this island—It’s an idea Lateef returns to again and again.  He’s my closest brother because we are a lot alike: we aren’t as muscular as our brothers; we both like running and swimming, and we both have good brains.  I guess the difference is that Lateef loves and lives with big Garin, and Garin always seems to want to make things into play.  Meanwhile, I live with big Abari, who was so traumatized by soldiers raping him that we are still only talking about fucking each other.  Abari is bigger and stronger than Garin, but Garin knows that Abari is always more cautious, more careful—and therefore Garin often beats him in their wrestling matches.  But Abari doesn’t care: it’s just a game; he can try again, and he knows he has my enduring love.

 

And I do enjoy life on our island.  I love running with Lateef.  He has taught me a lot about breath control and controlling my pace.  And I have beaten him a couple of times.  But Lateef—as I have said—is smart, and he can say something just before our race which gets me to thinking—and not about the race itself, and so Lateef wins.  And of course he smiles his sly smile afterwards, and I have proof that I fell into his trap.  But I still love him, and it makes for an interesting story when we meet our fathers for evening water.

 

Our fathers, Amare and Gareth, seem eternal—they don’t change much.  Amare is still the strongest man on the island and Gareth still swims the length of the bay faster than anyone else—and Lateef and I are both pretty good swimmers.  We swim with our dad; he tells us about breath control and pace in the water.  But every time we swim out to the ocean, he always gets there first—and both Lateef and I love that about him—and we also love the fact that he is always encouraging: ”You’ll get there—you both will!”

 

 

2

 

So it is to Xander I turn when I want to talk about defending the island.  He and I have developed a bond which I never thought would happen.  I guess seeing your younger brother shoot down an Egyptian soldier who is coming to knock you out and enslave you—I guess it changes a man.  I’ve always had sexual feelings for Xander—the man is beautiful; I could hardly not have sexual longing for him.  But he isn’t quite as big as my beautiful Abari, so those sexual yearnings faded.  Instead, we share a common passion: defending the island from another Egyptian invasion.

 

And so we get together and wander over to the pool, swim and drink some of the pure water from the small waterfall, and then talk while our feet soak in the pool.  Or we wander further, like today, up the side of the volcano.  It stands in the middle of the island and towers above us, covered in clouds at the top; it offers views of the rest of the island, so it makes sense to climb and sit and talk about where the Egyptians might attack, and how to defend such attacks.  

 

I had never climbed up the side of the volcano.  I was a child along the Nile in Egypt, and after I was sold into slavery, I stayed on Egyptian boats and carried water to soldiers.  A mountain was a new thing for me. 

 

“Have you ever climbed up the side of the volcano?”

 

“Once Zuberi and I climbed about as far as we are now—but we were a lot younger, and we hadn’t grown big, so we soon went back down.  Some of the men go inside the mountain to mine ores for our smithy, but I’ve only done that a couple times.  Not many have climbed the mountain.  Most guys are more interested in each other.”

 

“Well, let’s rest and have some water and look at the view.”  I took off the strap which held the water jug and handed the jug to Xander.  He took a sip and handed it back to me.

 

“It is a great view; we can see the bay and over to Menes and Shakir’s place—“ here he pointed over to our left—“ and over to our right we can see the training field.”  

 

“I wonder if we can use this place for defense?”

 

“I’d rather fight them on the beach and on the training field—or even in the jungle.”  I turned around to my right and looked down into the jungle.  I shook my head with a feeling of distaste.  “I don’t want to fight in there,” I said.

 

“Actually, I think Kashta and Daaka have a good idea about fighting in the jungle: putting archers in trees and picking off the Egyptians as they come into the jungle.”

 

“I know it’s a good idea—I just don’t want to do it!  The place scares me—especially after what we went through with Abari.”

 

“Yeah; that was scary.  But we pulled together and Amare made sure his youngest son would survive.”

 

“Yeah,” I said. “But how many other huge snakes are in the jungle?”

 

“Probably enough so that we should let the Egyptians find out.”  He chuckled. “Someone once told me that the snakes eat each other—and that’s why some of them are so big.”  He paused.  “Are you ready to get going again?”

 

I was, and we walked a bit further up the mountain side.

 

“You know,” Xander said, “Back in Greece farmers love volcano soil—especially on mountainsides; they would grow grapes for wine.”

 

“I’ve never had wine,” I said.  “Only a little Egyptian beer.  And now, with our water, I don’t want anything else.  Do you miss Greece?”

 

“Yes, I do—what I can remember of it.  But my parents were killed in a raid by someone—I never really understood who; I was very young—and I was sold into slavery, where I met Zuberi and we stayed together for survival—until we escaped and our dad rescued us.”  He paused.  “But I remember good-looking young men, and every young man who wasn’t a slave seemed to be an athlete.  And I liked to watch the wrestlers most.”

 

“So that explains your love of wrestling.”

 

“Yeah. Zuberi says I like to wrestle because I’m Greek and he’s not wrong—I like it because it reminds of my family and a very dim vision of home.”  As we walked I noticed Xander’s gold thunderbolt hitting his big chest.

 

“Why do you wear the thunderbolt?  Isn’t that a symbol of the northern god Thor?”

 

“It’s also a symbol of our god, Zeus.  So, same symbol, different gods.  And I like to think it connects me back to Greece.”

 

In a few more steps, I heard a  soft whistling sound.  “Do you hear something?”

 

“Yes, a soft noise.  I wonder if there’s a cave opening.”  There was a large boulder against the mountainside.  I could see the jungle below me, but there was a cliff that dropped down to it—no snakes would be coming up here.  I went over to it and listened.  “There seems to be air coming in or going out here.”

 

“Let’s see if we can move the boulder,” Xander said.  It was a large boulder.  I didn’t think we could budge it, but Xander was powerful, and I added what strength I had.  We moved the boulder just enough for us to squeeze through into the cave.  It was dim, but there was enough light to see some things.  What we found was pretty amazing.

 

A little above my head, I found a line of blue stone—lapis lazuli—and said, “I’ll bet your brother will want to come up here and get some of this!”  Then we found what looked like a black stone—only it was dusty, and it ran in lines through the wall of this room inside the volcano.  Xander sniffed it and said, “I wonder if this rock burns.”  And then we both marveled at finding a few diamonds that had simply fallen out of the rock wall, leading Xander to say, “Now I really have to tell my brother about this!”  He gathered some up and put them in the pouch with the water jug.  I found a hard rock and chipped off a small piece of the lapis and put it there as well.  And then Xander put a chunk of the black rock into the pouch—there was barely enough room for the water jug itself.

 

We decided to come down the mountainside and share our discoveries with Zuberi and the rest of our brothers—and with our fathers.  I had a vague sense that maybe these discoveries weren’t all that wonderful—but then, I was always suspicious when I was a slave, and even with the family I love so much, I still have moments of suspicion.

 

 

3

 

Before we got back to our fathers’ house, we stopped at the smithy to talk with Zuberi.  He cried, “What?” when I told him about the lapis; I shushed him; then I told him about the diamonds—and shushed him again. “I want to talk about this with our fathers before we do anything.  Can you come home with us?”  Of course he could.

 

Along the way we stopped by Garin and Lateef’s house: Lateef had just got back from running; Garin had just gotten back from moving stone slabs with Akhom, Tafari and Abari.  They were carrying them over to the training field, for new houses for some Egyptians and Nubians who had stayed behind when the Egyptian fleet left.   We asked our brothers to come to our fathers’ house.

 

Once there, Xander and I asked everyone to sit down.  It was almost time for evening water anyway, and Amare was already pouring water into cups.  Xander explained that we had been up the mountainside and had found a cave with some interesting ores in it.  He shook the pouch and the diamonds came out first.

 

As had happened in the smithy, Zuberi’s eyes lit up: “Do you know what I can do with these?  I can make jewelry which we can use to barter for anything we might want!  I could put a diamond in the center of a thunderbolt and make twenty of them and Masud could take them to Greece—as my love says the Greeks like the symbol—and we can get a lot of barter!”

 

And then I brought out the chunk of lapis.  Zuberi got excited again:  “I can take little chunks of lapis and design jewelry around them—and the Egyptians will give us good stuff for such jewelry!”  He paused.  “And a bit of lapis in a scarab also—I’ll bet Babu could carve some scarabs.”  Then turning to Garin, he said, “You and Babu could go back to that place in the jungle to get more dark wood.”  Garin nodded and said, “And I can take Abari; we’ll carry a bunch of wood back.”

 

And then Xander brought out the black rock:  “I’m not sure what we can do with this, but I want to try using it at the smithy and seeing what we can do with it.”

 

Then I spoke again:  “But my natural suspicion makes me wonder if we should embrace these riches—or if there are hidden dangers in them.  And that’s why we’re here, with all of you, and the two wisest men I know.”—and here I gestured to our fathers.

 

Lateef picked up the black rock, smelled it, and turned to Xander: “I think this rock will burn—a very hot burn.  I think you could use this in the smithy; it may be better than wood.  After all, we’re running out of dead wood on the island; this black rock might be a way of keeping the smithy going.”

 

“Thanks, Lateef!  I’ll try that.”

 

I saw our fathers share a long look, so I said:  ‘What’s wrong?” 

 

My dad spoke:  “My son, I’m glad you and Xander have discovered these ores, but I think my love and I”—here he gestured to  Amare, who nodded—“wonder about being too eager to make barter with them.”

 

Amare took over; he turned to Zuberi and said, “My son, I know how much your artist’s eye wants to put diamonds in thunderbolts and lapis in jewelry for the Egyptians, but please stop and think of what could happen.  Let’s just take the Egyptians.  If you mine a lot of lapis and create a lot of jewelry and trade it to Egyptians, then you will only increase the interest Egyptians have in our island.  And you will increase the likelihood that they will invade us again, and soon, and with more men.”

 

Then my dad took over: “And if you start trading thunderbolts with diamonds to the Greeks, then some Greek merchant will talk to a Cretan merchant, who will talk to an Egyptian merchant, and—“

 

“And the Egyptians will invade us again, and soon and with more men.”  Zuberi looked down.  Our fathers were destroying his dream.

 

Xander reached over, pulled his lover to him and wrapped both his thick, muscular arms around him.  Then he looked back at our fathers: “But that doesn’t mean Zuberi can’t use any of the diamonds or the lapis—does it?  Can’t he do a little jewelry?”  Xander sounded almost like he was the one who was going to cry.  Zuberi looked up at him and said, “Xander, they’re right.  If knowledge of these finds gets out, then we’re opening ourselves up to another invasion.”  He put his arm on Xander’s big shoulders; the two brothers sat side-by-side as if they were one man.

 

I looked at Lateef—I do that a lot when I’m about to talk about a new idea.  “I wonder,” and I paused.  “I wonder if Zuberi can make a few pieces of jewelry and we can give them to Masud, and he can take them on his ship to Greece and trade with them—barter for more beds or tools or whatever.  Would that be worth the risk?”

 

Our fathers looked at each other.  My dad spoke: “I think if Zuberi made a handful of thunderbolts with diamonds in them and took them to Mycenae and traded them, we would learn how much they were worth.”

 

Amare continued: “But only a handful.  And Masud would have to tell a story about how he came across some diamonds or won them on a bet, and he knew a man who made jewelry and was trying to trade the thunderbolts—just to see.”

 

“Besides,” Amare faced Zuberi, “didn’t you tell me, just the other day, how you’ve already gotten requests from other men on the island that you make necklaces for them?  You may not have enough gold, but you could make bronze ankhs and thunderbolts and put bits of lapis or small diamonds in them.  And just keep the jewelry on the island.  At least for awhile.”

 

“Yeah,” I said, “and you can get these guys to help you mine the lapis and the diamonds.  The potters made all those basins for mud in preparing for the invasion.  And we’ve mostly returned the mud to the pool.  Men could use the basins to bring the lapis and diamonds down from the mountain.  You don’t even need a lot of men—a handful, at most!”

 

“I don’t know,” Lateef said, “the more men who have necklaces with lapis or diamonds—the more likely some merchant in Crete or Mycenae will see a man on the ship and wonder where he got the jewelry.  Any Cretan or Greek merchant who sees diamond jewelry is going to want more of it.  I’d ask all our sailors not to wear their jewelry when they go to Crete or Greece.”

 

Amare looked directly at Zuberi:  “Egyptians go crazy over lapis.  Design jewelry for us, for your defense force buddies—use them for barter on the island.  You can still become pretty well off, simply getting the young studs on the island to do your work for you.  But do not, under any circumstance, sell any lapis jewelry to anyone who goes near Egypt—Greek or Cretan included.”

 

Lateef then turned to Zuberi: “I think you need to focus on the island first.   Babu can carve scarabs.  You can break off small pieces of lapis for each scarab.  It might be hard to do, but I imagine you and Babu can figure something out.”

 

“I’m sure we can.  But I’m not sure if thunderbolts are what I should be making for the Greeks.  Theron wanted a dolphin; he says it symbolizes Poseidon, the Greek god of the sea.  So I could make some of those.”

 

But I still had misgivings.  I turned to Xander and said, “But all it takes is for one sailor to forget to take off his scarab or ankh, and a Cretan or Greek merchant will start to ask questions.  And it’s a short step from there to Egyptians finding out.”

 

Xander finished my thought: “And a short step from there to the Egyptians returning, and with more men.  So you and I have to start planning for the next invasion.”

 

Zuberi was dejected again: “I don’t want to be the cause of another invasion!”  He paused and look at all of us. 

 

“But,” said Amare, “I know you want to create your art.  And you should.”  And here Amare reached over, grabbed Zuberi and wrapped his huge arms around his son.  Zuberi cried into his dad’s massive chest.

 

 

4

 

We couldn’t deny Zuberi his art.  That was the heart of the matter.  Zuberi would get some of the guys who wanted ankhs or thunderbolts and ask them to go up the mountain with Xander and Garin and gather some lapis and all the diamonds they could find.  Xander and Garin would sit the men down and warn them: “Do not come back here and steal more lapis or diamonds.  Do not take them to the ship or trade them.  If you do, the next Egyptian invasion will be your fault!”  Wisely, Zuberi and Xander had only chosen men who had been captured by the Egyptians—the men who had been close to becoming slaves again.

 

And Xander and I chose the entrance to the cave of the ores to meet and talk about plans for the next Egyptian invasion.  We rolled the big boulder back to close the cave of ores when no one was getting lapis or diamonds or black rock out.  The boulder could be moved by two men, so we knew it was only a partial remedy.  During most days, Xander and I sat in front of it, talking about plans for another Egyptian invasion.

 

Of course guys found out about the cave of ores, and of course some of our island men wanted to take some precious stones for themselves.  As Xander and I sat in front of the slab covering the cave, we noticed guys climbing up the mountain.  We waved to them; they waved back and usually went back down the mountain.  Some came on up and talked with us.  They asked if this was the cave with the diamonds.  We said it was, but we said that the cave was being mined for Zuberi and other artisans to make jewelry.  That usually satisfied them.

 

But after a while, I figured we needed something else to keep men away.  So one day I turned to Xander and said, “Kiss me!”  I think he figured out my plan because he took me in his strong, muscular arms and kissed me.  It felt like a dream, being in Xander’s arms, feeling his muscular chest and the heat from our bodies rising.  It was a little hard for me to break the kiss, but once I did, I noticed that the men coming up the mountainside were now going down.  

 

Xander smiled and said, “You liked that, didn’t you?”  He paused, looking at me, then said, “Zuberi knows you’ve been wanting to kiss me.  This will not surprise him all.”  I must have been blushing because he said, “You enjoyed it, didn’t you!”  

 

“OK, I admit it.  You’re big and beautiful and I’ve wanted too kiss you for a while.”  I paused; then I waved my hand to indicate the men leaving the mountain.  “But it seems to have worked.  Now we’ll just have to deal with Zuberi and Abari and explain to them that this was a trick to keep men away.”

 

“Well,” Xander said, “It won’t surprise Zuberi.  The problem will be Abari.”

 

“I hope he’ll understand.  He understands that I will do anything to help defend our island, and I can tell him that you and I come up here to talk about defending the island—and defending the cave of ores from men who want to steal diamonds.”  I paused.  “I’ve never lied to him.  I won’t lie now.  I think he’ll understand.”

 

We were quiet for awhile.  Then I had an idea.  “You say you want to fight the Egyptians on the training field.  But what if we changed the training field in some way to slow them down?  You said they swarmed you and that’s how they captured so many of our men.”

 

“Yeah, they swarmed us—and it worked.  Before we knew it, my group of swordsmen was surrounded, and our archers had to retreat under the trees.”

 

“But what if we dug trenches at various places in the training field?  We could mark them with small slabs of stone so we knew where they were while we trained.  And then we could remove the stones and cover the trenches with grasses before the invasion.”

 

“That’s a great idea!” Xander said.  “And we could put trenches in various places, so there would be no clear pattern!”

 

“Exactly.  And the stone slabs don’t have to be very big—any of our guys could carry them from the quarry.”

 

Surprisingly, I got another kiss from Xander—but this one was a kiss on my cheek.  “I’m so happy you have a big brain, my brother!”

 

On our way to our fathers’ house, we stopped and invited Zuberi to come with us; then we stopped by Lateef and Garin’s and invited them and Abari.   Once again we were all at our fathers’ house.  Xander and I explained our idea about digging trenches in the training field.  Lateef wondered if the Egyptian archers could use the trenches for protection.  

 

“I hadn’t thought of that,” I said.  “Maybe we should put some sharpened stakes in the trenches so they won’t want to stay there.”

 

“And,” Xander added, “upright stakes could harm some soldiers if they step in the trenches.”

 

“Or they could hurt our men, if they make a mistake,” Garin said.

 

“In any case,” my dad said, “you need to talk with your defense force friends and see if they support this idea.”

 

“I know,” Xander said, “we make decisions as a group.  Maybe someone else can see some possibility that we haven’t.”

 

“But I’m glad you two have been thinking about improving our defenses.”  As Amare said this, everyone else was nodding.

 

“And I’m glad too,” Zuberi said.  “Every day more men stop by the smithy to ask for necklaces.”  Then he turned to Garin and Abari, “Thanks to you guys, Babu has more than enough dark wood to carve scarabs—and they’re becoming as popular as the ankhs.  Babu and I found a way of putting bits of lapis into the scarab.”  Then he hung his head: “I imagine it’s only a matter of time before some sailor on Masud’s ship shows off his necklace and our secret will be out.”

 

“Don’t worry, my brother,” Xander said. “We’re making more swords and spear heads.  We’ll get someone to take over arrow heads from you.  We’ll build up the defenses for our island.”

 

 

 

5

 

Back in the smithy, Xander and Zuberi divided up the workers: Xander would be in charge of producing more swords, spearheads, and arrows.  Zuberi would be in charge of artisans making jewelry.  There were fewer artisans than arms-makers—and Zuberi was in complete agreement.  Xander and Zuberi explained the problem to the rest of the smithy workers: making the jewelry would probably lead, eventually, to another Egyptian invasion.  The jewelry could be bartered for goods we needed—but we needed to get ready for another invasion.

 

Xander discovered that Lateef was right: the black rock burned.  It took a hot fire to get it going, but once it got going, the black rock burned longer and hotter than wood.  Xander with three of his defense force buddies climbed up the mountain with now-empty mud basins and get more black rock.  They took along stone hammers to dig the black rock out of the cave.  When they came down from the mountainside, they all were covered in black dust—and they all went off to the pool for a swim.  But now Xander had a supply of black rock which could keep the smithy going for awhile.  He also discovered that the hotter fires meant that some of the fireplaces—and the potter’s kilns—had to be reinforced, since the hotter temperatures meant that those places would fall apart faster.  But, on the whole, the black rocks were an improvement.

 

As Xander had figured, Zuberi wasn’t at all surprised that I had kissed his lover.  Xander reported Zuberi said, “So our little brother got up the nerve to kiss you!”  But then he added:  “Only for your trick—no other kissing!”  Xander promised there would be no other kissing.

 

I was honest with Abari and told him how I thought kissing Xander would trick men into thinking we were going to have sex.  But Abari was more suspicious than I thought he would be: “Did you like it?  Did you like kissing Xander?”  I must have blushed again.  “You DID!” he yelled, and he pointed his finger at me.  “Jabar!  Don’t you love me any more?” 

 

“Yes, I do!”  I said.  “I will always love you.  This was just a trick to keep men away from the cave.”

 

“But you liked it!  You have always liked Xander!  You like him because he’s beautiful—even though he’s not as strong as me!”  I knew I was in trouble.

 

“But you’re beautiful and stronger and I will always love you!” I thought if I said this enough maybe he would believe me.  It didn’t work.  So I got desperate.

 

“Abari,” I said, “I love you!  I have always loved you.”  I knelt down in front of him; tears were running down my face.  I was more scared of losing him than when the snake threatened his life.  “Please believe me!”  And I took hold of his thick leg.

 

Abari was angry—I’d never seen him be this angry.  His beautiful face was contorted; he was breathing heavily; he couldn’t stand to look at me; instead, he paced back and forth in front of me, hitting his fist into his hand.

 

“OK,” I said.  “I was wrong.  Do you want to hit me?  I won’t resist.  You can hit me.  Please hit me!”  I lowered my eyes and let my hands fall to my sides; I was ready to feel the force of his powerful body.

 

But then Abari knelt down in front of me, crying: “No, I could never hit you!  I love you, Jabar!”  He hugged me and we were both crying.

 

“I’m so sorry,” I said.  “I thought it would be a good trick.  But I’m so sorry I enjoyed it.  I will never kiss Xander again.”  I was sobbing as I said this, holding on to Abari with my head on his big shoulder.

 

Abari took hold of my head, turned my face towards his, and said, “Do you promise?” 

 

“Yes.”

 

“Oh, Jabar!”  Abari said as he hugged my head into his massive chest, “I can’t live without you.  Don’t leave me for Xander!  Don’t love Xander more than me!”  His chest heaved with his sobs.  I was crying again.  I never thought kissing Xander would hurt my love so much.

 

Now I turned Abari’s face so that he faced me: “Please believe me that it was a trick.  I didn’t know I would like it.  And now I am so sorry that I did.  I can’t lose you, Abari.”  And I collapsed back in his arms.

 

As we cried together, I realized that I had forgotten Abari was still a child.  He is physically so big, but he’s not a man.  I thought he would understand my need to trick men into not coming up the mountain.  But the only thing he saw was that I didn’t love him anymore.  And his heartbreak was my heartbreak.  I held him and hugged him because I loved him, never wanted to hurt him, and couldn’t imagine life without him.  I suspect he hugged me because he was afraid of losing me to Xander.

 

That night we slept in each other’s arms only because we fell asleep crying.  I woke up first because I wanted to.  I very gently moved my arms and his arms so I wouldn’t wake him.  I walked quietly out of our house and went over to Xander and Zuberi’s house.  Luckily, they were just getting up and were ready to have morning water.  I stayed outside and said, “May I come in?”  Xander opened the netting.  Before anyone could speak I said, “I’ve made a terrible mistake.  I forgot how young Abari is.  I need your help—both of you.  Please come back with me to our house and help me repair Abari’s love.”  By the end of my little speech, I was crying.  Zuberi came to me, hugged me and said, “Of course we will.”  Of course, this only made me cry more.

 

When we got back to Abari’s and my house, I opened the netting and walked in.  Abari was just waking up.  I said, “Abari, I have brought Zuberi and Xander to our house.  May I let them come in and talk with us?”  

 

Abari wasn’t sure.  “Are you going to kiss Xander again?”

 

“No,” I said. “That will never happen again.”  Abari thought about it and finally said, “OK.”  I let Zuberi and Xander come in.

 

Xander went and stood front of Abari: “Abari, I was wrong to let Jabar kiss me.  I have already told Zuberi that it will never happen again.”

 

Then Zuberi said, “And I have forgiven Xander.  I know we belong together.  I think you and Jabar belong together.  I hope you can forgive Jabar.”

 

Then I said to Xander, “I was wrong to kiss you, Xander.  I did not think how it would hurt Abari.  I am very sorry I did it.  I love you like a brother, but I love Abari most.”  Then I knelt down in front of Abari and said, “I am so sorry, Abari.  I hope you can forgive me and you can love me again.”  I was silently crying.

 

Abari was crying too.  He knelt down to face me: “Jabar, you know I only love you.  I would fall apart without you.  Please love only me!”

 

“I will only love you, Abari.  You are my love.”  And we hugged and kissed.

 

Zuberi and Xander stood around—probably uncomfortably—but they stayed, and I was very proud of them.  When Abari and I stood up again, I said to Abari, “I will only love you, but Zuberi and Xander are our brothers.  Can you love them as our brothers?”

 

Zuberi came forward, hugged Abari, kissed him on the cheek and said, “I love you as a brother.  So does Xander.  I have forgiven him.  I hope you can forgive him too.”

 

Xander came in front of Abari and knelt down. “Please forgive me, Abari.  I want to be your brother again.  I will never kiss Jabar again except as a brother.”  Abari hesitated, then he reached down and grabbed Xander’s hand, pulled him up and hugged him, their muscular arms tight around each other.  “I forgive you, my brother.”  And they cried together.

 

 

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