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This is my first try at a muscle growth erotic story, other ones always stayed at a constant build up. It's unedited and raw but i want you guys thoughts on it. I wanna learn if i did this right and should continue, where can i improve myself and what are the problems and did this story achieve anything. Please write them in the comments

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“So you are telling me, if I order this, all my sex desires can be…” I said to John. After all the talk with him about my unsatisfying sex life he came to my desk at the office and proposed this new invention as an idea.

“Yeah, they will be real. The android adjusts itself to it’s owners,” he said. I knew him since high-school and the fate somehow kept us together. I always wondered why he was so eager to listen to my gay ass babble. He always was the best looking guy around, with that blond hair swept forward, high cheekbones, and those iconic blue eyes but unfortunately he’d had many girlfriends, so most likely was straight. 

“Awesome!” I said. He came closer and took my phone. Seeing his slightly defined pecs closer, with the 1 foot 2 inches difference of height was quite hard to endure for my overly horny body parts. I’ve been 5 feet even, since high-school.

“I ordered it for you! Hope this will help.” Damn, what a good friend.

“I still can’t believe someone like you would continue to be with me. I’m so lucky.”

“Ugh, just shut up,” he said. “You put yourself down too much.”

“So, when would it arrive?”

“I don’t know, but don’t open it till my business trip is over. If it acts up I can’t be there otherwise.” He gave me his card, as if I didn’t have his number… This guy really loved giving his card to me, many times.

He must’ve known me better, of course I wouldn’t wait for his trip to end but didn’t answer his question and simply nodded. After looking at me with suspicion he let it go.

I met with John many years ago at my birthday, 2009. That day was a disaster and my family didn’t even remember I had one. But coincidentally as I ran outside for some fresh air, he was walking right around our house. Nice enough to ask if a stranger was okay... That guy is something. Even in the darkness of the night, his eyes were seemingly beautiful, deeper than ocean blue.

But enough with history, because a huge box had arrived at my doorstep. It looked more like a coffin than a cargo.

I slowly pulled it inside, trying to prevent any possible damage. Weirdly, the box wasn’t taped. It didn’t matter either way, I wouldn’t have used the box cutter even then.

In the box there was a petite human-like iron figure. On the dark, shiny texture there were no visible gaps, or screws. Though the robot had no face, ear or… That too. On the curtain, that inside of the box was covered with, there was a remote with a dimmer switch on it.

“Easy-Normal-Hard-Hardcore” was what’s written in a circular fashion on the device. It sounded weird. Normally I would go with the highest setting but this time I couldn’t get myself to since the technology was very much new, anything could’ve happened.

“Okay then, Easy it is!” I pressed the button, and then the magic happened. A pale tone covered the robot and slowly his face, ears, dick and every other part that was missing built itself out. He looked no different than a human but the process wasn’t finished yet as his body got bigger with newly bulging muscle. Oh my fucking god, he was getting muscular. Now I understood what John was talking about, as the android filled the box and broke it apart with his body growing taller and weightier. 

He stood up looking at me with seemingly surprised face. It added to his cuteness, though I would’ve preferred a more masculine look this was great too. His face had a boyish look with green sparky eyes, and brown hair. His smile complemented his cutish look. Though, still short, he was 7 inches taller than me according to the device, at 5 feet 7 inches. I could see his athletic build. Still in early but muscular anyway. With slightly buried six pack, somewhat wide shoulders and arms. His pecs were easily the most developed part. “What’s my bidding master?” he said with a cute, joyful voice. 

Crap, I didn’t think I would give orders. Why put ‘modes’ if I’m gonna organize everything? My face was flushing because of that sentence. I couldn’t believe I was gonna have whatever I want with someone, that was my whole fantasy. Maybe I’ve wished for someone bigger, but still, I could do nearly anything. “Y-you sure?” I asked stupidly.

“Of course,” he responded without missing a beat, “I would do anything to make my master’s desires come true.” Him saying these in that athletic body, with that greatly shaped face. Was this a dream?

“T-then…” Fuck, I couldn’t bring myself to say it. “C-can I… Suck you off?”

He looked at me more surprised than before as if he hadn’t expected that.

“Did I say something weird?”

“No-no, I just didn’t think someone would want to give a robot pleasure than themselves. But if it’s what will bring my master’s dreams to reality…” He gripped his 3 incher soft cock. “I would be delighted to help you do whatever!”

Him saying those words with such an energetic, positive spirit gave me the confidence I much needed. I sank to my knees, he seemed bigger down there with his thighs seemingly bulging. I wish his tool was bigger, he was stronger, but I guess it’s okay too. I shouldn’t get too spoiled. 

“If you want…” he said, “I can get bigger with that controller. You just need to adjust the mode to a higher mode. But, my personality will change with it too.”

“C-can I do it?” But, wouldn’t that be too selfish. It was like telling him he wasn’t enough, I can’t do that. He’s already a perfect person.

“If my master feels anxious about it, I can do it for you. I would like to be bigger for a more intense session.” My eyes shone by how great he was. I didn’t say a word as he took the controller to his hands, “I will change it over time, let’s have our fun.”

I knew he was acting like this so I wouldn’t feel guilty, but that made me really happy. How could I look at such a perfect person as something less than a human. I tried to act up licked his dick before he could adjust himself. A moan came just in the time, one of his hands found it’s way to behind my back, to gently hold me.

As I was sucking, it got harder and bigger, he moaned more. Oh my, was that his feet in my cock. That felt so weird. Uh, I never felt anything other than my hands to masturbate. Uhhh, I felt too hot all of a sudden, and his dick reached 6 inches. Not too small, but not what we call big either. But I didn’t care, because who owned that was me. I could taste that dick as much as I wanted as he rubbed his soft foot against my crouch. Damn it, I should’ve taken my pants off first. But I couldn’t stop sucking him off now, till he reached his climax. Then I felt something. His dick slowly grew bigger inside my mouth, longer and wider. It’s veins were much more vibrant against my mouth. And I had to slowly stand up, in order to reach his cock. His thighs, were getting huge. Hell! What’s those balls? His moan got louder and deep. At some point it sounded so sexy, I had to look up but his hand behind my head didn’t let me. 

I rose my eyes trying to see his face, but his huge packs blocked my view. I could see his enormous biceps and well defined six pack too. He must’ve pushed the remote button. “I will let you see me, if you make me come,” he said with his new manly voice. My cock cried for release as his now bigger foot just hold it even though my pants, and suddenly he gripped my pants with his toes and took it down. My small dick was now exposed, 3 inches at max. Monstrous toes held it tight and squeezed it. It was so good, I felt the breath getting outta me. Tried to focus on sucking the cock as I moved my tongue around his cock, now filling my mouth. Although he only increased the level only one times, his authority of the scene got hella stronger. Because even though I was still sucking his cock, he pulled me from my legs upside down. Felt a sudden surge of blood to my brain which took my vision for some seconds. I thought he was at the end of his growth but the dick got even wider and longer forcing itself to my throat. I could feel his grip on my legs getting stronger and his fingers covering all the way. Even though I was only looking at his bush, I could still see his bigger muscles connecting above to his pack. He must’ve been close to 7 feet now. Was normal mode supposed to be this big? It was now impossible for me to use my tongue effectively because of his giant thing filling my mouth completely and it was not even completely in. I moved my in order to give him the pleasure, and he moaned harder. That loud rumbling voice vibrated my body. “YEAH, SUCK ME!”

Still, he did not come. I couldn’t breath properly any more as his body radiated with heat, and my throat nearly filled with a giant rod.

He put me on the ground, but still did not give me a choice to move out. He was sitting on a couch, and gazing at me intensely now. I was between his powerful legs. From this position I could see his upper body a lot better, but the evergrowing cock didn’t let me focus too much. He had a cocky grin on his face, how long has it been since he didn’t talk though… His abs were, 8 FUCKING PACKS!? And his pecs were large as a melon. How big did he get? He was many times wider than me! He didn’t moan anymore as I tried to suck, instead just growled with such intensity, that made me vibrate with him. His hand was still at behind my head, forcing my head inch by inch to take his cock. My jaw was getting pressured, I was gagging without a stop. But he didn’t let that bother his session. And continued to push me further down. I punched him to stop with all my strength but to no avail… Couldn’t breath. My face was turning paler and paler, and then to purple slowly. My nose was at his bush now, his cock, still growing, shaped my neck down to my spine, making it look wider. 

Then, he dropped the controller, that’s when I saw it. I predicted this outcome but couldn’t prepare myself to believe it… He changed the mode each time as he got cockier without taking my consent, level to level, until the maximum, hardcore. The world was getting blurrier as he laughed loudly, my body swung with his cock to one side to another. I should’ve listened to John and waited for him to come… John…

Then he pulled me back, and said: “Don’t die on me, we are just starting!” I couldn’t even make him come, but my cock has spilled all it’s share already. And was aching now to release just air. My intense pleasure was mixed with so much pain. 

I coughed, tried to get words out of my mouth but he probably outshaped my throat too much for me to be able to talk. He gazed at me with those monstrous eyes. A grin was there too, a grin of a predator. 

“Do you see this remote? This limits my ability to be whatever, but now that I have the full control over it…” He squished the remote in seconds. “Now, I’m free!”

He had to be at least 8 feet then, I couldn’t comprehend how big he could get. I tried to scream, kick, do anything… But his grip on my body, like a toy, didn’t even twitch one bit.

“I can’t wait anymore, to taste that ass of yours!” 

My eyes opened wide as it can get. The terror grew as his smile turned to laughter. He laughed and laughed as his muscles grew more, and became bulkier, taller!

Only one of his hands was enough to grip me now. His fingers that carried me reached tip to tip. He must’ve been at least 10 feet now!

So big, so filling, the couch just broke down. I didn’t know what to do anymore.

“Or…” he said, “We can play this game another time, looks like your door is ringing.”

J-JOHN! What if it was him?! The monster held my head, as if he would squish my brain outta it, if I did anything. I couldn’t see anything because of that. 

His steps made the whole house tremble! When he opened the door, a voice came, but it was not a human voice, this was a recording! It said, “2009-12-12 Did you like your gift?”

This was my father’s voice. Then it dawned on me… Those eyes. When the monster threw me to the broken couch like a ball, I wanted to utter those words! But I couldn’t because of my damaged vocal cords…

Then a miracle happened. A card, his card. I held the card to the monster, as if to make him remember who he was. “John”

That day, years ago, my family did not forget to buy me a gift… I was mistaken, and got my gift earlier, with meeting him outside. He was a robot that was developed at my father’s lab. But for some reason, he didn’t act like one… Oh, of course… I remembered what he said: “The android adjusts itself for it’s owner’s desires.” That day, I needed a friend. So he became my friend. Now, I needed to relieve my kinks, he became what I desired each time.

As I slowly came to myself, saw him… This time, he was in terror. Pulling his head, screaming! Those were not the screams of John trying to get into control, no… This was the sorrow that came with remembering everything. He was crying, punching himself, throwing things randomly… And there I was, not afraid anymore. Came closer to him and put my hands against his punch that was coming to his face, and it suddenly stopped. He couldn’t punch my hand, not anymore…

That day we sat down on the floor silently for a time.

--

“So you can talk fine now?” the giant said, even though it’s been days he couldn’t return to his normal self. My father’s re-modification of him in order to lure my desires even more savagely turned out to be nearly a murder machine. But now I have my friend again. Even though he can’t forgive himself, I didn’t think he was the responsible one here.

“Yeah, but this will stay for a while.” I said pointing at my neck. There was a white, clothish bandage around it. 

Suddenly John’s eyes saddened with remembering what, his other-self done. How dare he look at me with those puppy eyes. “I’m sorry…”

“I already told you, that was not your fault.” He was having a hard time to adjust to his 10 feet muscle giant form. He had to always slouch a lot to stay on his feet. I held his arm, that was where I could normally reach to touch, “I gotta take a bath, can you help?”

First he looked at me shocked, wanted to say ‘no’ without a doubt but pulled himself together and nodded. After all, there was no way he could refuse helping my problems that were caused because of that day. I admit, I use it to blackmail him to be more brave.

I sat in the bathtub as he tried to balance cold and hot water. I was watching him, silently trying to constraint himself in anyway possible. “Do you wanna talk?” I asked.

“Uh, if you want, of course.”

“Then, tell me how did your business trip go?”

“Ahahaha, yeah, that was a big ass lie, to cover my disappearance.”

“Then why did you ask me to wait for you?”

His eyes went wide, “I… Didn’t want you to see me, like that.”

“So you thought of me, even then?”

“No… I thought of myself. I couldn’t come to accept you loving that weird version of me more than me… I really didn’t think things would go this wrong.”

This was a hidden confession. He seemed to like implying more than straight talk, which I was not good at. “So you liked me, since when?”

His face flushed. “I-I have no idea. It didn’t happen in one day, it just built itself in time. I’ve come to realize this, at your birthday.”

“Wait, didn’t we meet that day?”

“Yes, but I’ve known you much, much before. Your father programmed me just for you, so I had many chances to see you, watch your recordings in my entire life.”

A ten feet giant, confessing his feelings to a half his size me, was so bizarre but entrancing too. “I wish I knew all of this. Why did you get girlfriend though?”

“To get rid of this weird programming issue. I shouldn’t have loved you, this much at least…”

As he slowly washed my feet, then to my legs with his giant hands I felt the sensitive motion in him. This close to my face, he was slowly cleaning my body in a caressing way. “I love you too.”

He looked at me shocked, “But you shouldn’t, I hurt you so much already!” his voice was loud and angry. “Is this about this body…”

I slapped him. “Do you think I would confuse these feelings with horniness? It was you who warned me not to put myself too down. But now you are doing it…”

“NO!” he said in panic holding my arm. “I’m sorry, I hurt you again.” He was crying. This was his fear after all, hurting me. Since that day, he had been trying to constrain himself in every way. Making a mistake, damaging me again, was the horrifying thoughts that carried through.

“Only thing that hurts me is, you hurting yourself. It was not your fault, trust me!”

“But, these hands…” he gazed at his palms in a paranoiac way, “I saw everything, this body is a murder machine!”

I pulled his hands towards myself and said, “As long as you are the one who uses them, I know these can’t hurt me.” I hugged him. Felt his thick tears rolling behind my back.

When we went to bed he asked again, “You sure to do this?”

“Yeah, doctor said there was no harm in doing normal sex.”

“What if…” He held himself back. Try to accept what’s happened and continue, was his new goal, set by me.
 
---

There's supposed to be a steamy sex scene here but i couldn't continue. So, please write your thoughts and suggestions! I might continue this story another time if it's done well

 

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Nice story ^^ . Can The Android his self also upgrading ?  to be bigger , more muscles ? ^^ . Bigger is always better 😈

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He could make some suggestions to John the android instantly better. 

"I want you to be my superhero."  Would he develop powers too?  I'm sure he'd explode with muscle.

"I want you to help me get stronger."  Training him would help John focus on helping (I don't know the name) get stronger, better and more resilient.

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So, I'm no expert, but these are my thoughts. I think you have a lot of potential in writing erotica. Grammar and spelling are competent, the idea for the story is unique and can be easily built upon, and enough detail is given about the actual acts to serve as "inspiration" to the reader. As for flaws, I can see a few, but they are easy to fix and are rather minor.

First, is the idea of clarification. This is in relation to the twist. Namely, I feel like the use of pronouns and an odd sentence structure made the moment a tad confusing. Just a bit more clarification would be able to fix it however. For instance, was the POV character being dragged to the door? Was the recording coming from inside the box, or from outside? Along with that, I think the use of pronouns when John was remembering all that he did only added to the confusion. If the distinction was made that the android was in fact John, I think it would've made things more clear. Even if it was just an allusion to his increased size.

The next flaw, is the lack of focus and description of the android. With stories related to this kind of fetish, emphasis on musculature, size, and growth will always aid in the effectiveness of the work. The descriptions before the growth were well enough, but I think quite a few things were missed out on by not describing the android during or after. For instance, when the POV character first started the blowjob, describe what his view was like.

"As I kneeled on the rather solid ground, I nervously gazed at the jewels in front of me. They were perfect, yet...average. Full yet small, and the same can be said about the duck that bobbed between my eyes. I gave myself a quick glance to what I saw around It. Defined thighs, though small enough that even my own hands can easily circle around one. A shapely hip, paired with a flat yet soft abdomen with the slightest hint of a treasure trail. It was then that I felt a gentle yet forceful hand guide me to the rod. I gave it passage, and the second I felt it slide along my tongue I heard a moan, light and airy, echo throughout my home."

"However, it was only after the dick slid in and out of my mouth a few times I began to notice changes. His penis began to throb, his veins began to engorge, and finally, it all began to push back. Six inches became six and a half. The thin rod became thicker, and the sudden shift caused me to cough in surprise. But then, his thighs, the solid cylinders, began to pulse and flex. The defined muscles appeared to become more so, splitting off into teardrops and sinews while it all pushed out and around. His abs too began to flex. Pushing out and receding like waves, leaving behind bricks."

These are really just examples, but language "markers" should be used to convey what you the author see, into what the readers can imagine. Avoid simple terms like larger, bigger, or even gigantic. Instead of "monsters biceps" try something like "with arms belonging to a junior bodybuilder" or "with biceps bulging up and out, rising and flexing with every intent use me as a simple toy". I also think terms should be in line with the tone, as well as the growth. When describing the androids dick, a rod should become a "pillar, so thick that it left no room for even a simple gasp".

Beyond those flaws however, I can see this story being taken to really interesting and pleasant directions. If you want to have the android swap between the two personalities, the story can easily swap between erotic and "fluffy". However, even focusing on John would work as you can play up certain aspects. Have him serve as a protector as a way to do shows of strength, or have him be flirtatious if you would prefer to include scenes of muscle worship.  Because of that, I think this story both serves as erotica as well as a nice piece to daydream over. 

All in all, I don't say all of this to be a pretentious asshole. But, if I do come across as that, I apologize as that was in no way my intention. I think you're writing has a lot of potential, and because of that, I cannot wait to see what you make next!

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20 hours ago, MizarAlcor69 said:

So, I'm no expert, but these are my thoughts. I think you have a lot of potential in writing erotica. Grammar and spelling are competent, the idea for the story is unique and can be easily built upon, and enough detail is given about the actual acts to serve as "inspiration" to the reader. As for flaws, I can see a few, but they are easy to fix and are rather minor.

First, is the idea of clarification. This is in relation to the twist. Namely, I feel like the use of pronouns and an odd sentence structure made the moment a tad confusing. Just a bit more clarification would be able to fix it however. For instance, was the POV character being dragged to the door? Was the recording coming from inside the box, or from outside? Along with that, I think the use of pronouns when John was remembering all that he did only added to the confusion. If the distinction was made that the android was in fact John, I think it would've made things more clear. Even if it was just an allusion to his increased size.

The next flaw, is the lack of focus and description of the android. With stories related to this kind of fetish, emphasis on musculature, size, and growth will always aid in the effectiveness of the work. The descriptions before the growth were well enough, but I think quite a few things were missed out on by not describing the android during or after. For instance, when the POV character first started the blowjob, describe what his view was like.

"As I kneeled on the rather solid ground, I nervously gazed at the jewels in front of me. They were perfect, yet...average. Full yet small, and the same can be said about the duck that bobbed between my eyes. I gave myself a quick glance to what I saw around It. Defined thighs, though small enough that even my own hands can easily circle around one. A shapely hip, paired with a flat yet soft abdomen with the slightest hint of a treasure trail. It was then that I felt a gentle yet forceful hand guide me to the rod. I gave it passage, and the second I felt it slide along my tongue I heard a moan, light and airy, echo throughout my home."

"However, it was only after the dick slid in and out of my mouth a few times I began to notice changes. His penis began to throb, his veins began to engorge, and finally, it all began to push back. Six inches became six and a half. The thin rod became thicker, and the sudden shift caused me to cough in surprise. But then, his thighs, the solid cylinders, began to pulse and flex. The defined muscles appeared to become more so, splitting off into teardrops and sinews while it all pushed out and around. His abs too began to flex. Pushing out and receding like waves, leaving behind bricks."

These are really just examples, but language "markers" should be used to convey what you the author see, into what the readers can imagine. Avoid simple terms like larger, bigger, or even gigantic. Instead of "monsters biceps" try something like "with arms belonging to a junior bodybuilder" or "with biceps bulging up and out, rising and flexing with every intent use me as a simple toy". I also think terms should be in line with the tone, as well as the growth. When describing the androids dick, a rod should become a "pillar, so thick that it left no room for even a simple gasp".

Beyond those flaws however, I can see this story being taken to really interesting and pleasant directions. If you want to have the android swap between the two personalities, the story can easily swap between erotic and "fluffy". However, even focusing on John would work as you can play up certain aspects. Have him serve as a protector as a way to do shows of strength, or have him be flirtatious if you would prefer to include scenes of muscle worship.  Because of that, I think this story both serves as erotica as well as a nice piece to daydream over. 

All in all, I don't say all of this to be a pretentious asshole. But, if I do come across as that, I apologize as that was in no way my intention. I think you're writing has a lot of potential, and because of that, I cannot wait to see what you make next!

Thank you. All the criticisms are well validated and the advices are really detailed. I love this. If i write a next chapter, it would take 2 to 3 hours, largely editing, because my main language is not english thereby grammatical problems glare at me. And because i put so much effort to get them right etc, there's nearly no energy left in to solve the other problems. This one was not really edited though. But i will try to make them right at the 'writing' part this time thanks to these great advices. Thank you again ❤️

 

Edit: and let me say, your descriptions of events were great. Im envious now :^)

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