deleted

[Guest]

deleted

[Guest]

Hmm, no reactions. I guess it wasn't effective.

Edit: this got misunderstood a little ago, so i should clarify, i just tried to say this story probably wasn't strong enough to get reactions. I wanna improve at writing, since then a weirdly enough reaction came, and it was a bit funny. 

[leathermuscle]

wann see him GROW GROW AND GRWO

[debate1]

Loved Alan the nerd!

[Guest]

deleted

[NeedMore123]

So they consume the slimy body parts to increase their own size?

[Guest]

On 8/15/2022 at 11:02 AM, NeedMore123 said:

So they consume the slimy body parts to increase their own size?

deleted 

[nypup2train]

On 8/14/2022 at 12:43 AM, SecretlyWriting said:

Hmm, no reactions. I guess it wasn't effective

Dude, 9 hours is not long enough to wait for reactions to a post, you have to give it some time. Plenty of us visit the site only once or twice a week, or even once or twice a month. All-but-begging for reactions is one thing, but wanting them immediately just comes off as needy and desperate. It's a bit off-putting, TBH.

As far as the post itself goes... honestly, it's not a story. It's a scene. It's not a bad scene that would be interesting as part of a larger story, but there isn't enough there to consider it a full story in its own right, IMHO. None of the characters are developed, none of the plot elements introduced are explored or resolved... it's just "incomplete", structurally. Though, like I said, I think it's potentially a building block of an interesting story.

Adding in "Consequences of Deception"... doesn't really change much, because (while the two stories are obviously connected), those connections don't amount to anything in terms of the larger story. Clearly the drug being developed in "Deception" is the same pill that Jason takes here, but the backstory added in "Deception" really has no impact whatsoever on this story, so now you have two scenes from a larger story that needs to be filled in before either one really amounts to anything.

I encourage you to keep at it, because the makings of an interesting story are definitely there. It just needs a lot of connective tissue, before it can really be called a "story".

[Guest]

On 8/19/2022 at 4:48 PM, nypup2train said:

Dude, 9 hours is not long enough to wait for reactions to a post, you have to give it some time. Plenty of us visit the site only once or twice a week, or even once or twice a month. All-but-begging for reactions is one thing, but wanting them immediately just comes off as needy and desperate. It's a bit off-putting, TBH.

As far as the post itself goes... honestly, it's not a story. It's a scene. It's not a bad scene that would be interesting as part of a larger story, but there isn't enough there to consider it a full story in its own right, IMHO. None of the characters are developed, none of the plot elements introduced are explored or resolved... it's just "incomplete", structurally. Though, like I said, I think it's potentially a building block of an interesting story.

Adding in "Consequences of Deception"... doesn't really change much, because (while the two stories are obviously connected), those connections don't amount to anything in terms of the larger story. Clearly the drug being developed in "Deception" is the same pill that Jason takes here, but the backstory added in "Deception" really has no impact whatsoever on this story, so now you have two scenes from a larger story that needs to be filled in before either one really amounts to anything.

I encourage you to keep at it, because the makings of an interesting story are definitely there. It just needs a lot of connective tissue, before it can really be called a "story".

 Lol