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I Can Fix Him (Complete story, 1/16/23, Bonus Material added 1/23/23)


TQuintA

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TQuintA, I still am unable to predict where this story is going, but it is perhaps my favorite here in months. Also, you're spoiling us with so many chapters all at once... it is unique and it totally makes it worth the wait... thank you for all the hard work and effort you put into this.

Regarding the recent chapters' content, I feel my heart pounding at the pressure being applied to Auggie and Gabriel, and Douglas' pain was rough, but Gabriel asking Auggie to marry him was something I was waiting for, and I've been hoping they'd consider a nontraditional romance between them, whether that involved a nonsexual romance or some version of polyamory or a polycule or something where Gabriel and Auggie admit that they each provide something the other needs, and it was really cool with the steps you took towards something along those lines. Still, with Gabriel's development and changes I can't predict where you're going with it, and I look forward to each new release. The characters all feel believable if not exactly "fun" (Hank's pressure,  Johnny's twisting logic, the drop in my stomach whenever a new attractive person from Gabriel's past shows up as a potential love interest, Douglas' shifting interest, etc) and the growth and changes and so on with Gabriel are all interesting and refreshing. Looking forward to what happens next!

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38 minutes ago, Ozymandias said:

This story continues to impress and somehow manages to keep going! Still not the faintest idea where it ends up…

I really can see Auggie and Gabriel go more separate ways after this incident with Douglas. Auggie might realise he will never be happy as long as he lives this close to Gabriel and moves out. They still remain friends but it cools down a bit. 

And Gabriel could finally focus completely on his sport without being distracted/disturbed by Auggies relationships and drama. 

It might take a completely different turn I'm sure I'll be fine with it, too.

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Chapter 26

               Rather than return to dinner, I went to my room.  I wanted to cry, but I was too stunned to cry.  I sat in darkness and silence, thinking. 

               I was almost entirely sure Douglas had dumped me, but I was clinging to my doubts.  He’d never officially said we were through.  Part of me was trying to find one scrap of a way to salvage my relationship with Douglas, but everything he said was true.  I kinda was cheating on him with Gabriel.  Gabriel gave me things Douglas didn’t. 

               I guess I could move out.  Find a smaller, more affordable place.  Stop seeing Gabriel.

               But I didn’t want to do that.  I wanted to keep what Gabriel and I had.  I liked what Gabriel and I had.  It was worth fighting for.  Douglas would come around.  He would just have to realize that dating me meant accepting Gabriel, and if he didn’t like it, he could…

               And in that moment, when I realized I would fight to save what Gabriel and I had, even if it was at the cost of Douglas, that was the instant I realized Douglas and I were over.

               And that’s when I finally started crying.

               I was alone for thirty minutes, lying in my bed, crying, when there was a knock at the door.

               “Go away,” I said.

               “Like that’s ever stopped me,” Johnny said, barging into the room and turning on my lights.  When he saw I was crying, he sat next to me on the bed and began rubbing my back.  “Douglas dumped you, huh?”

               My sob confirmed his suspicion.

               “I’m sorry you’re in pain, but I’m glad he dumped you.”

               I sat up, fury in my eyes.

               “I’m your big brother,” he flatly stated.  “I get to say these things.  He was no good for you.”

               I stared, angrily.

               Johnny continued, “Douglas is five years older than you, and he still doesn’t know what he wants.  He didn’t even realize he was bi until two years ago.  That tells me he’s a man who isn’t very introspective.  He’s cagey about his past sexual experiences, both bragging about his prowess and obscuring concrete details.  That tells me he views sex as a game or a competition, or even a war.  He swung from polyamory to monogamy in a fit of jealousy.  That tells me he’s emotionally immature and overly possessive.”

               I was surprised by Johnny’s analysis.

               “That’s right, I listen when you talk to me on the phone.”  He rubbed my shoulder and shook me comfortingly, in that way only an older brother can.  “Douglas was handsome and a fun time, and I can see you cared deeply about him.  But he was a distraction.  If you actually valued your relationship with him, you would have gone after him.  Instead, you’re here, in this apartment.  You never got farther than the hallway outside your front door.”

               Johnny was right.  Douglas gave me every chance to fight for him, and I didn’t.  I still could fight for him, and I wasn’t.  I sobbed harder. 

               “No need to cry,” Johnny said soothingly.  “Now that you know what you don’t want, you can focus on what you do want.  You know what you’ve always wanted.  Gabriel.  He’s kind and generous, he respects you, he’s fiercely protective of you.  The two of you get along so well.”

               I was about to speak, but Johnny cut me off.  “I know.  The two of you have never slept together, and the man of your dreams is a sexual dynamo.  No one’s perfect, baby brother.  I can turn Gabriel’s sex drive on, but you will always be more experienced than him.  Just keep that in mind over this next month.  I’ve seen his bloodwork.  His flood gates are about to open.”

               “You still think he’s broken and that you can fix him?”

               Johnny smiled knowingly.  “Talk to Gabriel after Hank and I leave.  You agreed to marry him to shut me up…”  I was about to interrupt, but Johnny put a finger on my lips.  “Buh!  Buh!  Buh!  I know that’s why you agreed to marry Gabriel.  No need to pretend.  Gabriel, however, is not a talented enough liar to keep up a charade in your absence.  He was sincere.”  Johnny pat me on the back again and gave me a one-armed hug.  “I want what’s best for you.  Gabriel’s best for you.”  With that, he left me be.

               I stayed in that spot, frozen and unmoving, as I heard Gabriel bid our guests goodbye.  When the front door closed, he came to my still-open door.

               “Can I come in?” he asked.

               I nodded.

               “Did Douglas dump you because of me?” he asked.

               “Did you actually mean your marriage proposal?” I responded.

               That question threw Gabriel, so he answered, “I asked you first.”

               I tapped the spot on my bed next to me, inviting Gabriel to join me.  His weight on my bed created a valley, and I slid into him.  I scooted back, drew my legs up onto the bed, and turned to face him.  “Douglas dumped me, but it was because of me.”

               “Because he thinks you were cheating on him with me.”

               I turned my head quizzically.

               Gabriel explained, “He was shouting.  We heard everything.”

               “You and I are not having sex, but I am cheating on him with you.  Emotionally.  I’ll never fully commit to him because I have you.”

               “What?”  Gabriel was confused.

               “When I came into my bedroom after the fight, I tried to figure out a way to keep both of you.  He made it clear that it’s him or you, and I was still trying to have both of you.”

               “There’s no need to pick…” Gabriel started, but I talked over him.

               “I’d pick you,” I confessed.  “I would pick you every day for a thousand years.  I like being around you.  I like the way you make me feel.  I don’t want to be without that.  You’re 95% of my dream come true.  Most people would kill for 95%.”

               “You deserve 100%,” Gabriel said dismissively.  “And you’ll find it.”

               “You’re proving my point,” I replied.

               “If a guy can’t accept our friendship, then he’s not the right guy for you.”  Gabriel was obviously frustrated.

               “This brings me back to my question.  Was your proposal sincere?”

               Gabriel looked down at his feet.  After a long pause, he said, “Yes.”

               “Why?”

               “I’ve never felt romantic love.  At least, I don’t think I’ve ever felt romantic love.  But I want you in my life.  I like having you around.  I like living in the same apartment as you.  I like spending time with you.  I like how you make me feel.  Maybe that is romantic love.”

               “Do you want to kiss me?”

               “No.”

               “Do you want to hold me in your arms?”

               “No, but I’m not opposed to it.”

               “Do I make you weak in the knees?  Does your heart flutter when you see me?  Do your palms sweat?  Do you get butterflies?  Do you dream about me?  Do you get distracted thinking about me when you should be thinking about other things?”

               “No to all of them.”  Gabriel sounded confused by my list.

               “Whatever you’re feeling, it’s not romantic love.”

               “Is that how you feel about me?” Gabriel asked.

               My stomach quaked and roiled, but I confessed, “Yes.”  I swallowed hard, my mouth suddenly dry, and I continued. “I fight it.  I fight it so hard.  But, it’s yes to all of them.”

               “I was sincere in the marriage proposal,” Gabriel answered.  “At dinner, when confronted by Johnny, you said you loved me.  I want to spend my life with you.  I thought maybe that was romantic love.  Or could become romantic love.”  He exhaled loudly, still looking at his feet.  “We should get married.”  He finally looked me in the eyes.  “I want to make what we have permanent, and the only way I can think of doing that is marriage.  We love each other.  I don’t care if it’s not legal in Pennsylvania.  Let’s get married.”

               I stroked Gabriel’s face affectionately, his thick beard bristling under my fingers.  “If you really wanted me to marry you, for the same reason as me, I’d walk to Massachusetts on my knees to marry you.”  I took my hand back.  “But you don’t.  So, my answer’s no.”

               Gabriel shook his head emphatically and took my hands.  “I don’t think you understand my proposal.  I want you to have it all.  I know I’m not enough for you.  You become my husband, but you can still sleep with other men.  As many as you want.”  Almost as an afterthought, he added, “And, who knows?  Maybe I could learn to like sex.”

               “Picture you fucking me,” I dared him.  “Really picture it.  Use your imagination.  Your giant cock going in and out of my tight hole.  I’m moaning and writhing in pleasure as you stretch me open.”

               Reflexively, Gabriel let go of my hands and recoiled.

               “You still think you could learn to like sex?”

               Defiantly, he took my right hand with his left, and with his right hand, he gripped my thigh, tenderly stroking me with his thumb.  “If you wanted me to, I’d do it.”

               For the second time that night, I had a revelation.  I took his hand off my thigh.  “I’m going to have to move out.”

               “What?”  Gabriel looked hurt and stunned.

               “You love me, yes, the way you love a close friend or a family member.  But you don’t want to marry me.  You just don’t want to be alone.  And I understand that.  But that’s the role of a roommate or a pet, not a husband.”

               “Please don’t leave,” Gabriel said, quietly.

               “I’m not leaving right away.  I’ll stay with you until the drug trial’s over.  I don’t trust you alone with Johnny and Hank.  There’s three weeks left, and it’ll probably take me that long to find a new place anyway.  Then, I’m moving out.”

               “Please don’t,” Gabriel said, practically a whimper.

               “Don’t sound so sad.  We’ll still be friends.  I’ll still come over sometimes to watch movies and hang out.  We can talk on the phone.  Go out for lunch or dinner.  But you’ll stop being my ersatz husband.”

               “Ersatz nothing!” Gabriel protested, suddenly full volume.  “I want to marry you.” 

               “If I don’t move out, I’ll never stop relying on you for that deep emotional connection.  As I have learned from my attempt with Douglas, I’m not wired to love two men at once.  If I want to find romantic love, which I do, I have to leave.”

               “You’re abandoning me.”

               “Get a roommate.  Or a puppy.  Or a roommate with a puppy.”

               “I can’t stop you, can I?”

               I shook my head.

               Gabriel got up, left my room, and closed the door behind him.  I don’t know if he was talking to himself or wanted me to hear it, but in a low voice he distinctively said, “I have three weeks to change his mind.”

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