Muskworld : the Prelude

[Hialmar]

PREFACE

In memory of Terry Pratchett (1948-2015).

May he rest in peace.

 

Muskworld : The Prelude

In many respects, Muskworld is just another planet. As every astrophysicist would tell you, each planet is a hemisphere  balanced on the back of four elephant-shaped cosmic beings standing on the back of a turtle-shaped cosmic being swimming in the cosmic ocean. The gravitational pull from the turtle keep the hemisphere and its atmosphere in place.

There exist amazons on Muskworld, but Muskworld isn't one of those Amazon Planets visited by astronauts from Earth wearing too much tinfoil.

In the northern part of Muskworld, there exist blond giant barbarians, whom Lin Carter probably would have described as "sinewy thewed" (the male population nurturing a taste for strange hairdos like man buns, corn rows, unnecessarily complicated fades or just very long manes, the female population usually having unnaturally big breasts and a propensity for an opera career), but Muskworld isn't one of those Barbarian Planets mortal earthlings are teleported to randomly for no particular reason.

In the lush tropical forests on Muskworld, the male segment of the population has a tendency to grow large sweaty pecs and turn into thunder gods during adolescence, but Muskworld isn't one of those Nubian Thundergod Planets out there, visited by the French astro-anthropologist Jean-Paul Blaxploitation.

There exist scientifically advanced regions on Muskworld, too, and those regions have a surplus of mad scientists, but the inhabitants of these scientifically advanced regions haven't boldly gone where no one has ever gone before – not yet, anyway. Biomedical companies and radiological companies in this part of Muskworld are proud over the employment benefits and the certified unsafe working conditions they offer their employees, with rich opportunities to be exposed to random workplace accidents with muscle growing effects.

A considerable amount of the inhabitants of Muskworld decided centuries ago, that they were fed up with all that muscle growth nonsense going on elsewhere on the planet, thank you very much, embarked ships sailing west over the ocean, and founded an average society for average people with a middle class income, pastel coloured suburban houses, pastel coloured cars with tails, church-going housewives, conservative values, hard working bread winners, plucky children and a dog.

Being a chemistry teacher at high schools and colleges in this part of Muskworld is a career paved by ingratitude: to perpetually try to prevent smart plucky scrawny boys, usually recently after the 18th birthday of the latter, from experimenting with home grown growth drugs. Likewise, there are rumours about publicly muscle-growth-averse housewives who experiment on their pool boys, football coaches who experiment on their varsity-jacket-wearing team-members, not to mention the armed forces, who have to counteract any future attack from their scientifically superior neighbouring countries by creating super soldiers in secret, despite their public adherence to the Non-Proliferation Doctrine regarding Capability Enhanced Servicepersons (NPDCES). 

Muskworld is probably worth a story of its own, or two.

* * *

To be continued.

Edited September 2, 2022 by Hialmar
grammar, details

[nypup2train]

On 9/1/2022 at 7:26 PM, Hialmar said:

Likewise, there are rumours about publicly muscle-growth-averse housewives who experiment on their pool boys,

Just a small word-usage note: "averse" means "strongly opposed" or "turned away from", which if I've inferred correctly from the context is the exact opposite of what you meant. "muscle-growth-obsessed" is probably the closest common phrasing to what I think you were going for.

(Or, OTOH, perhaps "averse" was exactly what you meant, and I've jumped to the absolute wrong conclusion when I should've just taken the sentence at face value.)

[aitchbee]

You have nicely captured Terry's Pratchett's style and word-choice. Keep it up!!

[Hialmar]

On 10/11/2022 at 1:38 PM, nypup2train said:

Just a small word-usage note: "averse" means "strongly opposed" or "turned away from", which if I've inferred correctly from the context is the exact opposite of what you meant. "muscle-growth-obsessed" is probably the closest common phrasing to what I think you were going for.

(Or, OTOH, perhaps "averse" was exactly what you meant, and I've jumped to the absolute wrong conclusion when I should've just taken the sentence at face value.)

In that part of Muskworld, the general population is publicly averse to muscle-growth, in an ostentatious protest against how the rest of the world behave, but this doesn't stop a lot of secret muscle-growth going on under the surface. I had the US in the 1950s in mind: 'keeping up appearance' and all that.

[nypup2train]

@Hialmar Aha! The "publicly" in the original sentence was the crucial factor I overlooked, but should've been focusing on. My mistake, carry on! 

[Hialmar]

Now when I think about it, 'keeping up appearance' must have been a thing in European countries, too. Still in the 1980s (during my teenage rebellion), my Scandinavian farmgirl Mum, who grew up in the 1940s and 1950s, worried about 'What will people say?' for the silliest of reasons, despite the significant cultural changes, that had occurred in the 1960s and 1970s, but I believe, it was the US middle-class in the 1950s, who adopted the most extreme version of that cultural attitude. The biker, rocker, mods, hippie, skinhead and punk sub-cultures emerged, because expectation on youth's behaviour was too restricting. I believe it is the other way round, today: Comparatively permissive and countercultural parents, and comparatively conformist children.

Edited October 16, 2022 by Hialmar
details