A Newcomer Muscles In

[Ghirlanda]

Below, a story in the form of an invented news report as it might appear in a sports e-zine updated weekly. The writing style is as in the U.K. with U.S. spellings. It is entirely fictional, and though three well-known athletes are mentioned, they are not characters in the the story and their names occur only in dialogue. The narrative, though entirely fictional, is inspired by a particular athlete and by actual events that might be worth tracking down for those interested in this kind of story line. - Ghirlanda

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FLEET STREET SPORTS

This week, Street Smart talks to roving correspondent Aaron Kay, who reports that a sensational newcomer is muscling his way to the top of the tennis ranks.

Is he just reprising the Anna Kournikova sideshow of the late 1990s, or does Andrij Kachmanov herald a new era in tennis? Either way, the sports world is buzzing about the Hungarian newcomer, who trained in the U.S. on the juniors circuit and played tennis for Stanford University before joining the pro ranks and settling stateside. 

FLEET STREET correspondent Aaron Kay was one of the few journalists on hand recently at the Mecklenburg-Vorpommern Open when Kachmanov captured the men’s singles title. The hunky Hungarian left the strait-laced crowd agog not over his retro one-handed backhand or his first-ever defeat of a top-ten player, but his victory celebration: After shaking hands at the net and with the umpire, Kachmanov tossed off his neon-orange t-shirt, baring a body that had to be seen to be believed. The tall (1.95 metres) newcomer’s torso is replete and rippling with stone-chiseled muscles — astounding abdominals, brutal biceps, and all the rest. His powerful frame contrasts starkly with that of most pro tennis players, whose physiques, though honed by specialized fitness regimens, are smoothly lean.

“Lean? Bodies don’t come leaner than Kachmanov’s,” reports Kay, “but he’s got so much muscle, it must have some players second-guessing how they train. They see buff guys like Nadal and Alcaraz tearing up the courts, and now there’s Kachmanov on a whole other level. Physios and coaches have always said that big muscles are a drag on speed and endurance, but if you’ve seen Kachmanov play, you know he’s fast and it’s impossible to tire him out.” The Hungarian Hercules is also seemingly impervious to injury. During his years as a junior and college player, and now on the pro tour, he has never so much as stubbed a toe, reports Kay.

The Mecklenburg tourney, a quaint relic of the pre-open era, is only Kachmanov’s first pro title, and he’s been keeping his head down and his nose clean since the win. Even so, he has suddenly become the most controversial figure in tennis, supplanting the ever-newsworthy Novak Djokovic. Some players who were not even present at the German tournament have accused him of unsportsmanlike conduct there because he kept his shirt off during the award ceremony. His acceptance speech, delivered in excellent German, spurred rhythmic clapping and chants of “Flex! Flex!” among spectators. The tournament finalist refused to stand beside him and angrily strode back to the locker room. By forgoing the ceremony he may forfeit the runner-up trophy, though not the ATP points or prize money (both paltry at this 250-level contest). 

Like his eye-popping musculature, the Internet seems almost exploding with Kachmanov paeans and pans. What could be objectionable about an athlete’s hot body? While some fans are openly admiring, others feel his look is an attempt to intimidate opponents or is simply un-tennis-like. Bodybuilding and strength training, they say, are antithetical to the sport. These may be the same spectators who long for a return to matching white outfits and long skirts for the ladies.

FLEET STREET sent Aaron Kay to Orlando, Florida, where Kachmanov trains, in hopes of snagging an interview. But Kachmanov has been declining press requests, referring all inquiries to his coach, Garrett Marson, an ex-Wimbledon stalwart now based at the tennis academy in Orlando. According to Kay, Marson may be playing Svengali to Kachmanov’s Trilby.  “I was watching when Kachmanov threw his tee shirt into the crowd and went to his bag to replace it,” notes Kay. “Marson restrained him and zipped the bag back up himself, then motioned Kachmanov into the winner’s circle shirtless. It was totally Marson’s idea. When the crowd wanted Kachmanov to flex, Marson shouted ‘do it!’. And he did.” 

Kachmanov’s brief display has spurred criticism even though players including Andy Murray and Frances Tiafoe have flexed for the camera without raising eyebrows. “Maybe because there’s nothing to see,” Marson quipped. He also claimed that some players had derided Kachmanov’s muscles as “fake fitness” or “just for show” and had dared the rising star to “mix it up off the court.” Kay notes: “Marson tried to retract these comments, but since he was speaking on the record, he tried to clarify, adding that the speakers were ‘nobodies.’ The top players, he claims, have been nothing but supportive, telling him that new approaches to training are always welcome.” But Marson only dug himself deeper by telling Kay he’d love to see Kachmanov’s critics “try something.” When Kay asked if Marson was advocating physical violence as a solution to conflict, he denied it. “I’m just saying they’d be in for the shock of their lives,” he insisted. “You can’t hurt the guy. It would be like punching a stone wall.”

Further digging by Kay has FLEET STREET wondering whether Kachmanov’s under-the-wire entry in the Mecklenburg-Vorpommern Open was calculated by Marson to leverage Kachmanov’s status as a local hero in the German city’s U.S. namesake of Mecklenburg, North Carolina. Kachmanov’s derring-do on a visit there has not gone unnoticed by his fans: According to the Charlotte, NC Observer, Kachmanov’s foiling of a smash-and-grab robbery attempt at an area shopping mall left onlookers gobsmacked. Mecklenburg resident (and now Kachmanov fan) Jurist Nesmith told Kay: “[Kachmanov] pursued the would-be robbers through the mall right into the parking lot. He [ripped] his shirt off as he gave chase. When one of the perps got a look at him, he froze, and [Kachmanov] scooped him up and tossed him over his shoulder like a laundry bag. He carried them back to the mall security office and waited with one under each arm til the police got there. They were whaling on him the whole time, but he didn’t pay them no mind. It was like out of a comic book.”

Kachmanov is expected in Toronto in August at the Canadian Open, a precursor event to the U.S. Open, but he has withdrawn from Calgary. Though his official website is dark for the moment, fan sites are spreading virally on venues such as TikTok. FLEET STREET prediction: Kachmanov will show up on the courts in Toronto in new gear designed to showcase his physical assets, and with potential sponsors lining up to build his financial assets. Power tennis, anyone?

 

 

 

 

[Hialmar]

5 minutes ago, Ghirlanda said:

The writing style is as in the U.K. with U.S. spellings. 

As a non-native occasional user of English I wonder what this means. British spelling isn't homogenous either, the difference between an Oxford use and a Cambridge use of the letter zed, for instance. Colin Dexter used that detail as a plot device in one of his crime novels.

[Ghirlanda]

Standard dictionaries in the U.S. and the U.K. have some consistent points of difference in spelling, such as colour vs. color. The matter of style in expression is a bit more vague, but in the U.K., where daily print journalism is still popular and readers have a wide range of choices, a certain arch quality is common even in serious articles. In the U.S., where print is struggling, editors seem to prefer a more neutral tone except in opinion pieces.

[Ro20316]

Love this. the way you are telling the story its pretty ggodd. We will know how he is doing by the papers and not for himself.

[Ghirlanda]

Readers intrigued by this kind of subject matter can search news coverage of tennis player Marton Fucsovics for a real-life example. He was around #30 among top players internationally in recent rankings.

[DennisFLL]

I liked your story a lot , Ghirlanda, loving your smooth writing style.  Also appreciated Kachmanov’s muscle/power descriptions, his flexing for or intimidating less powerful other men.  Hope there is a chapter 2?

[NickMuscleFan]

6 hours ago, Ghirlanda said:

Readers intrigued by this kind of subject matter can search news coverage of tennis player Marton Fucsovics for a real-life example. He was around #30 among top players internationally in recent rankings.