richard18 Posted July 14, 2023 Share Posted July 14, 2023 what made the smaller now soon to be bigger bro hate his brother so much when his brother thinks of him as the most precious thing to him, either he was jealous or he is the twisted one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ploder4 Posted July 14, 2023 Share Posted July 14, 2023 1 hour ago, richard18 said: what made the smaller now soon to be bigger bro hate his brother so much when his brother thinks of him as the most precious thing to him, either he was jealous or he is the twisted one Or a combination of both. I was kinda hoping that someone or some group expecting a person to come out a certain way from this factory in this dystopia would have spent a ton of money to make sure that person stayed that way. The scientists should have made sure Max had the right card or else why have scientists watch him devolve into a sex toy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richard18 Posted July 14, 2023 Share Posted July 14, 2023 true, maybe his brother will realise he was loved and will try and get his brother back to the way he was since it sounds like the other brother will become the new ruler Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Distendo Posted July 15, 2023 Share Posted July 15, 2023 On 7/14/2023 at 11:59 AM, Muscletheftlover said: Well its a dystopian fantasy its not supposed to be "well-ordered" whatever the hell that means. The swap is between the brothers bc they are the main characters....what other reason do you need? Lol Im sure there are lots of incidents where there are screw ups in this enhancement programe. The focus is on the bros so thats whats being shown. I dont mind the world building yhat much. Tbh I like to imagine most of it myself. That is part of the fun. I'm asking the author, not you. He wanted some feedback, so I pointed out some under-developed plot points. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ienjoisk8ing Posted July 15, 2023 Share Posted July 15, 2023 Great story... can't wait for more! Happy to also help with inspiring you to write it! Keep it up Hammster and I'll do my best to keep helping inspire you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kymuscleboy Posted July 18, 2023 Share Posted July 18, 2023 On 7/13/2023 at 6:45 PM, Distendo said: How on earth were the cards swapped? Curious to find out. It surely goes against the notion of a well-ordered society by the enhanced. The tension between the brothers also feel forced. As they say, apples don't usually fall far from the tree... Lastly, if this is a society-wide programme, are there reasons why it must be a swap between brothers? It feels unfair to ask of these since many stories here focus on smut, but your worldbuilding is killing this cat haha. I know your questions are for the author, but I don't think it's necessarily a swap of muscles or anything between the two brothers. Obviously the cards were swapped between brothers, because Max is trying to help his brother have a better fate. He only realized too late how badly he screwed himself. However, the muscles that are being drained aren't being given to the other brother. Each brother is being augmented or downgraded according to what his card says, at least in my understanding. Now that to me is a plot weakness, as one would think that in this world, the people would be made well aware of just how important their cards are to them, and especially for those bound to be enhanced, they would know to guard their cards with their lives. More likely, the people would be identified through an implanted device or by their DNA itself. However, the author needs a plot device for the brothers to be switched. So, it's understandable why he wrote it the way he did. I agree that the world building in this story is really amazing, and it has potential for so much more development, even if to this point it left me profoundly sad. One brother gave up literally the world for his brother, and the other brother not only doesn't appreciate it, he took glee in seeing his brother get a fate that he knew his brother was not destined for and did not deserve. If Timmy is indeed to become the new ruler and a god, it doesn't bode well for the already dystopian society. All he has shown so far is that he is petty, cruel, jealous, and turned down every chance Max had offered him to try to improve his eventual outcome in life. Now he is going to get an outcome that he doesn't deserve in the least, if the story goes the way it appears to be headed. I do wonder, if the card is supposed to list the subject's genetic potential, how Timmy can be enhanced to the level that Max would have been? It's clear that even though the guys have the same parents, Max was the luckier of the two when it came to physical abilities and even mental acuities. I definitely look forward to a new chapter to see if that is mentioned and how it is handled in the story. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Distendo Posted July 22, 2023 Share Posted July 22, 2023 On 7/18/2023 at 3:12 PM, Kymuscleboy said: I know your questions are for the author, but I don't think it's necessarily a swap of muscles or anything between the two brothers. Obviously the cards were swapped between brothers, because Max is trying to help his brother have a better fate. He only realized too late how badly he screwed himself. However, the muscles that are being drained aren't being given to the other brother. Each brother is being augmented or downgraded according to what his card says, at least in my understanding. Now that to me is a plot weakness, as one would think that in this world, the people would be made well aware of just how important their cards are to them, and especially for those bound to be enhanced, they would know to guard their cards with their lives. More likely, the people would be identified through an implanted device or by their DNA itself. However, the author needs a plot device for the brothers to be switched. So, it's understandable why he wrote it the way he did. I agree that the world building in this story is really amazing, and it has potential for so much more development, even if to this point it left me profoundly sad. One brother gave up literally the world for his brother, and the other brother not only doesn't appreciate it, he took glee in seeing his brother get a fate that he knew his brother was not destined for and did not deserve. If Timmy is indeed to become the new ruler and a god, it doesn't bode well for the already dystopian society. All he has shown so far is that he is petty, cruel, jealous, and turned down every chance Max had offered him to try to improve his eventual outcome in life. Now he is going to get an outcome that he doesn't deserve in the least, if the story goes the way it appears to be headed. I do wonder, if the card is supposed to list the subject's genetic potential, how Timmy can be enhanced to the level that Max would have been? It's clear that even though the guys have the same parents, Max was the luckier of the two when it came to physical abilities and even mental acuities. I definitely look forward to a new chapter to see if that is mentioned and how it is handled in the story. I do appreciate reasoned discussion, just not a drive-by shootout that the other commenter seemed to be engaging in. We're all here for a good read, after all. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muscletheftlover Posted July 27, 2023 Share Posted July 27, 2023 5G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.